Laurie Puhn

Laurie has a Bachelors Degree and a Law Degree from Harvard University. She specializes in Couples Mediation to Stay Together and regularly meets with couples and individuals in her private practice to help them establish new communication habits that will quickly end conflict and re-energize their relationship.

Facebook Bots 101: What They Are, Who’s Using Them & What You Should Do About It

bot marketing

Raw data alone isn’t easy to interpret and translate into actionable insights. But by enriching your data, you’ll have all the information you need to make strategic marketing decisions. Social commerce is one of the hottest trends in social media today, and it looks to have an even bigger impact in 2020. Similar to the email newsletter tip above, with surveys, you first ask people to opt in to hear from you, then you can message them occasionally with a short and simple survey. That being said, that leaves 31% of consumers who might prefer the old-fashioned way — email or social support. We’re big fans of tools like Lucidcharts and Whimsical for creating easy-to-read flowcharts that would suit this type of project perfectly.

Automation helps empower human agents and streamline the customer service experience. When simple, repetitive tasks are offloaded to a chatbot, human agents can have more time to resolve complex issues. The most important step towards creating chatbots for marketing is to zero in on what you expect from them. Be specific whether your goal is customer acquisition, generating brand awareness, getting product insights, easing customer service woes or anything else. Following the COVID-19 pandemic, IBM customer, Camping World, a leading retailer of recreational vehicles globally, experienced a surge in website volume.

They also offer InstaChamp, a great marketing chatbot designed for IG businesses. You don’t need any coding skills to create a chatbot with Tidio. You can use the visual builder to drag and drop elements into the right places and customize all the actions to your needs. There are many templates you can use to build task-specific bots for customer support, lead generation, and others. It’s easier, faster, and cheaper to use a chatbot platform than to develop one in-house.

  • Messenger chatbots aren’t powered by a human, they are built by one.
  • And as marketers, we have an exciting opportunity to help shape it.
  • It’s the same issue — those potential leads are gone and you have no way of interacting with them again.
  • With it, you can run and put together an effective marketing strategy that would allow you to hit your goals faster.
  • Chatbot marketing is a technique utilized by businesses to promote products and services with the use of chatbots.

For that reason, set up your chatbots to connect users with human representatives when the bots can’t fulfill their requests. Chatbots can gather the necessary information to provide effective support, especially when they are plugged into your website. For example, when a chatbot asks users why they’re visiting your page, this automated interaction can help customers find what they want and nudge them towards converting. Additionally, by using chatbot marketing in your customer support processes you can give customers access to information beyond normal working hours. In this guide, you will learn how chatbots can help revamp your marketing strategies with more personalized experiences for your customers. To get ready for the tactical how-to of marketing bots, there are three things you should understand about marketing chatbots.

On top of that, the chatbots provided links to certified stores where the warm lead could go to pick up the products. The messaging data bots collect can provide insights into your audience’s needs and wants. Social messaging data can highlight important voice of customer feedback.

Make sure to promote your chatbot so people know you have one

The open and read rate on Messenger campaigns sent by Customers.ai is astronomically higher than email. Clickthrough rates are lower still, and the entire campaign can take days or even weeks to complete. Drip campaigns can have added layers of complexity depending on what action the recipient takes. Join Customers.ai Premier Agency Program to earn revenue share, new business referrals and marketing promotions.

It’s easy to use and cleverly designed for sales and marketing. ManyChat focuses mainly on Facebook Messenger, but they do have support for Instagram Direct as well. The AI tool can be used without any coding knowledge, promising users that they can set up a bot in as little as 20 minutes. Customers.ai is a multi-platform chatbot creator that enables businesses to easily manage their marketing chat content with ease. It has a Unified Chat Inbox including a toolbox of integrations for easy scaling of any campaign.

The Slack integration saves you time and enhances collaboration by allowing you to quickly assign tasks to the right people so you can take care of issues before they become big problems. All you have to do is let Surveychat guide you through the survey-building process via Facebook Messenger. You can also connect with About Chatbots on Facebook to get regular updates via Messenger from the Facebook chatbot community. The BrighterMonday Messenger integration allows you to speed up your job search by asking the BrighterMonday chatbot on Messenger. Sales outreach strategies require a lot of repetitive tasks, and businesses must be consistent and responsive to drive results.

The sports team is also a great example of timely content delivery and how you can use bots for more than just customer service. Spend some time analyzing your site’s traffic to discover when they leave or when they fall out of your sales funnel. Once you know when you’re losing people, you can create a chatbot to engage visitors at those high-risk moments. You can even ask visitors what Chat PG solution they’re currently using and offer up a comparison of your product with theirs. Chatbots can help you automate certain processes, address customer questions and problems faster, and save valuable resources that you can then invest in other areas of your business. Plus, as technology continues to drive forward if you don’t adopt chatbot marketing you might be left behind.

Bots provide a scalable way to interact one-on-one with buyers. And unlike the self-serving marketing of the past, bots provide a service. Let’s be clear here—using a chatbot marketing company is not the same as using a marketing agency. They provide you with the software, but you’re the one creating your own chatbot.

Businesses can benefit from the platform’s feature of converting PPT files directly into videos, making it hassle-free to produce course materials or presentations. Additionally, the automatic subtitle generation ensures that your content is accessible to a wider audience. With accolades like the CES Innovation Awards and a vast number of AI patents, DeepBrain AI Studios stands as a testament to the power of AI in revolutionizing video content creation.

Product improvement is the process of making meaningful product changes that result in new customers or increased benefits for existing customers. Marketing automation tools have become indispensable for businesses aiming to thrive… AI-powered tools can use this pricing strategy to gain better margins, as it allows retailers to update their prices several times a day. Dynamic pricing is best exemplified in hotel booking websites or airline companies where the prices go up or down depending on availability.

  • It analyzes conversations about the brand, products, and competitors all over the web.
  • As more and more brands join the race, we’re in desperate need of a framework around doing bots the right way — one that reflects the way consumers have changed.
  • So, if you’re a funeral products store, then your bot probably shouldn’t be playful.
  • So, you’re ready to jump into the wonderful world of chatbot marketing.
  • Bots are a great way to spruce up your web design, but they can’t fix all your problems.

You might think chatbots are only for customer support, but using them to answer your customers’ questions is just one way to leverage chatbots. With the right setup, a chatbot can power your marketing as well so you never miss a lead. With Brand24’s powerful AI social media monitoring tool, brands can keep track of positive and negative feedback about the company in real time. It analyzes conversations about the brand, products, and competitors all over the web. The most advanced bots are powered by artificial intelligence, helping it to understand complex requests, personalize responses, and improve interactions over time. This technology is still in its infancy, so most bots follow a set of rules programmed by a human via a bot-building platform.

As a result, customer interactions increased and so did customer satisfaction, helping BlendJet build trust with repeat customers and first-time buyers. We offer simple task bots that you can set live in minutes to automatically collect visitors’ contact details whenever they start a conversation with your team. Our “Qualify leads” task bot can also follow up in the same conversation to ask simple qualification questions. One of the coolest examples of chatbot marketing that we’ve seen comes from Volvo Cars Amberg, a German car dealership. Manychat has proven itself a prominent fixture in the world of AI chatbots.

As we’ve touched on briefly already, chatbots can help recover abandoned carts. There are a number of reasons why a shopper might abandon their cart. These chatbots don’t learn from their interactions with users which typically makes them more cost-effective for businesses to implement. The top marketing bots for brands includes Mobile Monkey, PhantomBuster and airSlate. These marketing bots have robust features and startups and enterprises can find a solution custom to their brands.

Forecasting sales

And if you’re interested in building your own bot, watch the video below to see how Sprout can help. What’s even cooler than our own bot is Sprout’s chatbot builder. With the rise of mobile and social shopping, brands are constantly looking for ways to drive revenue from their social channels. HelloFresh manages to show off their brand voice by playfully introducing the bot as Brie. In a time when more than 5.04 billion people engage with social networks, the critical…

Brand24 is a marketing app that lets you see what people say about your brand to take advantage of new sales opportunities. Video marketing is booming, especially for social media marketing, which is … AirSlate offers the ultimate workflow automation and personalization marketing bot, known as “Proof Bot”. This works the same for buyers who abandon shopping carts or if you want to generate leads from your email list for webinars, social media contests, or events. If buyers interact with your product but don’t buy it, a personalization marketing bot will pinpoint the problem and prescribe a solution. These bots use in-depth customer insights and data tracking to suggest personalization tactics.

It’s as simple as ordering a list of if-then statements and writing canned responses, often without needing to know a line of code. If you want great results from your chatbot marketing campaigns, you should combine them with other channels and live chat. And don’t underestimate the human touch—aid your representatives instead of replacing them. Roma by Rochi is a clothing ecommerce that uses chatbots to upsell products through its Facebook page. This business gives customers a variety of options to choose from on their Messenger bot. Their chatbot for marketing will answer customers’ questions, show the product catalog or notify the lead when items go on sale.

In the Star Wars franchise, there are countless examples of people using droids, or robots, to assist them with various tasks and make their lives easier. From making X-wing repairs to assisting Trade Federation visitors, these droids serve a wide range of functions. Adding Quick Replies to your welcome message is just the beginning.

bot marketing

Without ever leaving the messaging app, users can hail a taxi, video chat a friend, order food at a restaurant, and book their next vacation. In fact, WeChat has become so ingrained in society that a business would be considered obsolete without an integration. People who divide their time between China and the West complain that leaving this world behind is akin to stepping back in time.

One of the biggest reasons businesses love marketing bots is to optimize their workflows. These bots can also provide real-time suggestions based on buyer behavior and help you make data-driven decisions to win over qualified consumers. We’ve created an ultimate guide on what marketing bots are, how you can use them, the types of marketing bots, and the top three marketing bots in 2024. Instagram Stories was one of the most dynamic social media channels in 2019. So

much happened with Stories — from new developments with the product to strong

returns on Stories ads and organic reach.

And one of the prime places is using your bot as a content delivery system. The user can choose any of these statements by tapping on them in the Messenger interface. One last thing to consider is that you must avoid making your bots obtrusive and annoying for site visitors. Many bots give you the option of greeting users as soon as they arrive on your site via a pop-up box. For that reason, be sure to tell users upfront that your chatbot is, in fact, a chatbot.

This question is often too quickly dismissed by companies that see Facebook as a purely social platform, rather than one for businesses. Even if your audience doesn’t currently use Facebook for business needs, you need to start by determining whether or not the potential for Facebook marketing is there. Check out more examples of companies using our chatbots to improve their marketing in this article or in our case studies. As a business, it’s important to leverage AI marketing tools to create a sustainable, forward-thinking brand designed to last for years to come. Without it, it would be hard for companies to sell their products or convince consumers to make a purchase. Marketers need to plan their targets, write the copy, edit, then distribute it at just the right time to create maximum impact.

Many of the tools we mentioned earlier include the option for two button-based responses, which are perfectly suited for the mobile-first experiences of social media bots. One of the most interesting stats we’ve seen about chatbots is that people aren’t nearly as turned off by them as you’d think. 69% of consumers prefer communicating with chatbots versus in-app support. These bots can use sophisticated technology like artificial intelligence and natural-language processing. Zendesk’s Answer Bot works alongside your customer support team to answer customer questions with help from your knowledge base and their machine learning. Here are more chatbot examples to inspire your chatbot marketing strategy.

Once you have a chatbot marketing tool, you might be tempted to create a chatbot to handle every single thing you can think of. You’re less likely to get overwhelmed that way or end up disappointed when your chatbot doesn’t perform the way you want it to. Start with a simple chatbot that just welcomes visitors to your site. Sure, it’s not flashy, but it adds an element of personalization and friendliness so your website doesn’t feel like a static thing.

Engagement

Just like how you can use marketing chatbots to answer support questions, you can use chatbots to start conversations with website visitors, qualify leads, and even upsell customers. Powered by watsonx Assistant, Camping World employed Arvee, a messenger chatbot available around the clock to assist sales and customer service teams. Having its own chatbot platform allowed live agents to respond to more complex conversations, improving response times and agent efficiency. With less human-to-human contact, live agents were able to provide higher-quality customer interactions.

bot marketing

Today, usage of messaging apps has actually outpaced that of social networks. Healthtap is an interactive healthcare provider that connects users to advice from medical professionals. Chatbot technology has advanced to a stage where they can easily replace traditional web forms on your site and offer users a simpler way to get in touch with you. Smart marketing tools such as this allows marketers to maximize the information produced without wasting money on other campaigns. For brands and consumers alike, we have a chance to redeem communication and commerce.

Integrate visitor identification and remarketing automation to unlock next-level growth. The example Mark Zuckerberg lauded in his keynote was the ability to send flowers from Flowers without actually having to call the number. A user, Danny Sullivan, subsequently tried it by sending flowers to Zuckerberg himself and documented the five-minute process here. If you have phone numbers bot marketing for customers and pre-existing permission to reach out to them, you can find them on Facebook Messenger via customer matching. Conversations initiated through customer matching will include a final opt-in upon the first Facebook Messenger communication. 3 min read – Generative AI breaks through dysfunctional silos, moving beyond the constraints that have cost companies dearly.

Moreover, the platform also provides the latest sound trends for Reels, allowing users to stay relevant and on top of the game. Rapidely is an advanced tool hinging on the powerful GPT-4 technology, which aims to revolutionize social media content creation. The full interaction should take place natively within the app. The goal is to recognize the user’s intent and provide the right content with minimum user input. Every question asked should bring the user closer to the answer they want.

One way AI marketing tools can help out is by adapting your sales and marketing strategy to generate a personalized experience for any specific customer. Artificial intelligence can use predictive analysis to gain a better understanding of the customers behavior and buying habits. This is the same thing Google, Netflix, and Instagram use to give you recommendations to watch or suggest posts. Built specifically for social media, this tool offers 24/7 support and an easy setup process. Flick AI Social Media Assistant is trusted by over 100,000 content creators, brands, and marketers, helping them save time, improve results, and enhance their social media presence.

bot marketing

Twitter chatbots offer a great way to scale personalized one-on-one engagements. Create unique brand experiences in Direct Messages that complement a social marketing campaign or multi-channel business objective—like customer service. Use analytics and metrics to track how your marketing chatbots are performing. This will give insights you can use to improve your customer service.

Below is an example of how UPS uses a virtual assistant to expedite customer service. If you’d like to use this marketing bot for your business, go to the templates section of Customers.ai and view the templates library. All of this happened automatically with no time-wasting activities by sales personnel, account reps, or agency team members. Adding a chat widget to your website is one of the quickest, easiest, effective and most direct ways to employ the power of a marketing bot on your website. Then, instead of passing through like ghosts, you can capture the information of the ones who really are interested and engage with them in a conversational way. For the most part, drip campaigns are synonymous with email marketing.

MEE6 is a Discord bot that offers a suite of features to enhance your Discord server. With MEE6, you can stay on top of internet trends, create custom commands, automate processes, and more. The Dashbot.io chatbot is a conversational bot directory that allows you to discover unique bots you’ve never heard of via Facebook Messenger. A marketer’s job can feel never-ending, especially when you have multiple daily tasks and campaigns to manage independently. Whether you have to guide a team, communicate with customers, or run a campaign — your to-do list can be exhausting.

To create a successful chatbot marketing strategy, you need to have a well-structured plan. Identify who your audience is, how they interact with your brand and how you are going to measure success. All these will decide your chatbot user experience and conversational workflows. Chatbots provide instant responses to customer queries so you have 24-hour customer service. The data they collect can be used to understand customer pain points and emerging trends, so you can offer a more personalized customer experience.

If you’re a beginner, start with a straight-forward rules-based chatbot to guide users through common interactions and queries. Twitter chatbots are a great way to respond to customers in a timely manner, manage commonly asked questions and automate certain actions. Once you’ve finished the above steps, you’re ready to push your first chatbot live. Monitor users as they interact with your bots to make sure there are no leaks in journeys where customers consistently get stuck.

Avoid fully open-ended conversations

The instant gratification of @-mentions, DMs and chatbots has influenced the trajectory of social messaging and customer care. The need for conversational commerce remains high as customers want to interact with brands in a way that feels natural (and efficient). Over 70% of customers expect a conversational care experience when they engage online with brands. Chatbot marketing might not be right for all businesses, but there are so many chatbot builders out there that offer free trials or free plans that it’s worth giving it a try.

The Slack integration lets you directly chat with customers in your Slack channel. The Slack integration lets you automate messages to your team regarding your customer experience. Autopilot is an app that allows you to personalize and automate your customer experience, giving you more time to focus on other aspects of business without sacrificing customer satisfaction. Dashbot.io is a bot analytics platform that helps bot developers increase user engagement. Dashbot.io gathers information about your bot to help you create better, more discoverable bots.

These dialogues form the building blocks of so many different types of marketing activities — from drip campaigns to sponsored messages. As such, there is a lot of untapped potential in the technology itself. It’s imperative that marketing bots not only function from a marketing standpoint but also undergo thorough functional testing to ensure that every feature works flawlessly.

To thrive, businesses need to have target revenues and find a way to ensure this goal is achieved throughout their campaign period. The application of AI marketing programs lets marketers understand and estimate possible sales based on their customer data and their past shopping https://chat.openai.com/ behavior. Beyond users, bots must also please the messaging apps themselves. Executives have confirmed that advertisements within Discover — their hub for finding new bots to engage with — will be the main way Messenger monetizes its 1.3 billion monthly active users.

This automation can significantly lower time constraints while reducing customer service costs, so you can focus on optimizing your strategy. Website visitors are 82% more likely to convert to customers if they’ve chatted with you first. So, if you’re looking for ways to make your marketing strategy more effective, live chat is the way to go. But how do you staff live chat for your marketing without ballooning your headcount?

bot marketing

This AI tool generates a personalized email, including a personal subject line to pique the interest of customers. It also provides backlink generation, Shopify product title and description creation, and even personalized cold email outreach. Whether you’re looking to explain car features, introduce your company, or even create a pitch, DeepBrain AI Studios has a solution tailored for you. Dive into the world of AI video creation and experience the future of content generation. It excels in Post Scheduling, facilitating the arrangement and timing of posts with a simple click. With features like Auto-Suggested Hashtags and a Hashtag Search & Manager, it further aids in effective content management and visibility enhancement.

Dynamic pricing happens when the price of a product or service is changed based on the market condition and the supply or demand of the item. It features highly accurate AI that checks spelling and grammar in real time online. However, you can also install it as an extension for Google Chrome. More powerful functions like checking for tone, clarity, and style are available in Premium and Business options. Before you get caught up in the technicalities, let’s set a framework for building a bot your customer will want to use. Instead, it should stick to a single function and do this incredibly well.

Fantastic customer support builds brand loyalty and retains customers. Repetitive tasks take up a lot of time, and strategic business owners and marketers use marketing bots to solve this challenge. Many of the best marketing bots (like the ones we’ll review further below) offer pre-built workflows, making it easier to create efficient work processes.

Monitor your engagement reports to understand what is and isn’t working. Instead of trying to get a reaction out of every visitor, adjust your chatbot’s behavior to target the leads who will engage. You can foun additiona information about ai customer service and artificial intelligence and NLP. Deltic Group, the UK’s largest operator of late-night bars and clubs, relied on social media channels to communicate with their customer base. Receiving 350,000 messages on Facebook Messenger each year, only 10 percent are answered adequately. As most notifications arrive later in the night, the customer support team is too busy to respond when people are deciding where to go. Another valuable opportunity is converting inquiries into bookings for private parties or booths, where guests are more inclined to attend if they already paid and tend to spend more.

The best types of marketing bots for business include chat bots, personalization bots, data enrichment bots, email bots and sales outreach bots. Our full article explores the details of these marketing bots and how they can boost your brand. If your business doesn’t use marketing bots in 2024, you need to change this. Marketing bots help brands optimize workflows, leverage in-depth customer analysis, fill data gaps, and nurture qualified leads. Using AI and high-level automation, marketing bots will study your current workflow and provide real-time suggestions based on user behavior. Marketing bots are AI-powered, automated technology solutions that helps brands automate customer engagement, workflows and sales strategies.

Compare that open rate to email’s average open rates (15%–25%) and chatbots are the clear winner. Zenefits is a comprehensive digital HR platform for small to medium-sized businesses. Zenefits streamlines weeks of accumulated repetitive administrative tasks and handles team requests for you. ChatKwik is a conversational marketing software that works with Slack to keep customer conversations organized to serve your customers better.

Oil Prices Face Wild Swings With Bot Traders Driving the Market – Bloomberg

Oil Prices Face Wild Swings With Bot Traders Driving the Market.

Posted: Thu, 30 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT [source]

From the drip campaign creator, you will title your campaign, define your audience, and then set time requirements. Most drip campaigns are promotional in nature, which means that they will need to comply with Facebook’s regulations surrounding promotional messages. Chatbot marketing is a special kind of marketing, where a chat conversation is the end user interface.

Also, note that HelloFresh provides a variety of prompts to help guide the conversation from point A to point B. The bot suggests questions, likely based on the most common questions their human reps receive. Donut is an HR application that fosters trust among your team and onboarding new employees faster so everyone works better together.

This article covers the key features of these marketing bots, the pros and cons, and how much they cost. These marketing bots allow businesses to unify data from different sources for an in-depth overview of their marketing efforts. Some high-level chatbots have advanced AI features for authentic customer communication, and it’s often hard to tell these chatbots a part of human agents. Moreover, marketing bots help you receive and respond to customer queries quickly.

And of course you could source questions from outside of your immediate team, too. The search suggestions at the bottom of relevant Google pages are a good place to start, as are crowdsourced communities like Quora and Reddit. Facebook Messenger’s official page offers to build your own bot directly through the platform’s landing page. This method though, may be a little bit more complicated than others.

As you move forward with your plans, it is important to focus on your goals and create a unique experience for your customers. Understand your audience and evaluate the communication channels when deciding to use chatbots in your strategy. This will help you prioritize chatbots to use and what messaging service you should opt for.

Creating a comprehensive conversational flow chart will feel like the greatest hurdle of the process, but know it’s just the beginning. It’s the commitment to tweaking and improving in the months and years following that makes a great bot. If the success of WeChat in China is any sign, these utility bots are the future.…

How to Get Anyone to Call You Back

How to Get Anyone to Call You Back – Have you ever wondered why someone didn’t return your phone call? It might be because you didn’t leave a clear and persuasive message.

DON’T wait until you hear the “beep” to think of what you are going to say in your message. DO prepare your message in advance. Think about what you want and be ready to state your purpose in a sentence or two. DON’T leave a message without giving your phone number, even if you think the person has it.

DO leave an enthusiastic message with your name and phone number, and repeat your phone number a second time to give the person an opportunity to get a pen and/or re-check the number. It is also helpful to state the best time for you to be reached.

Here’s an example of a persuasive message: “Hello, this is Laurie Puhn from Laurie Puhn Communications. I’m calling to find out whether you received the material I sent you last week. It’s Thursday morning and the best time to reach me today is before 3pm. Please call me at 516-773-0303. Again, that’s 516-773-0303. Thank you.”…

7 Biggest Blunders: How many do YOU commit?

7 Biggest Blunders: How many do YOU commit? – Avoid The 7 Verbal Blunders Couples Commit

Roll away the Fights, Ring in the Cheer!

“Everyone commits communication blunders” says communication expert Laurie Puhn, J.D. Sadly, these often unintentional blunders lead us straight to blow-up arguments with our special someone.

Discover your communication blunders! Fess-up and learn to say the right words at the right time this season.

The 7 Biggest Blunders – How many do YOU commit?

Blunder #1. Loose Lips
If your honey demands to know, “Why did you tell them that about me?”
then you’re guilty of airing your mate’s dirty laundry.

Blunder #2. Engaging in Silent Nights
If your sweetie exclaims, “You never listen to me!”
then you’re guilty of being uninvolved and non-responsive in conversations.

Blunder #3. Kitchen Sink Talking
If your honey announces, “You always bring up the past.”
then you’re guilty of turning a molehill into a mountain.

Blunder #4. Displaying the “Whatever” Attitude
If your mate shouts, “Don’t you have an opinion?”
then you’re guilty of taking a backseat in your relationship.

Blunder #5. My Way or the Highway Thinking
If your darling asks, “Why does it always have to be your way?”
then you’re guilty of dismissing your mate’s opinions.

Blunder #6. Exhibiting Priority Mix-up
If your sweetie exclaims, “You put lots of things first, what about me?”
then you’re guilty of taking your mate for granted.

Blunder #7. You Don’t Stop to Smell the Roses
If your mate begs, “Can’t you ever be happy with anything?”
then you’re guilty of being a fault-finder.…

How to Listen… so People Want to Talk to You

How to Listen… so People Want to Talk to You – “You never listen to me!” Do you recognize this phrase?

Perhaps someone has said it to you and you responded with, “What do you mean? You’re talking to me and I’m looking right at you. Of course I hear you!”

“But I feel like I’m talking to the wall,” the person responds.

Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Hearing is not listening.

We hear birds chirping, we hear traffic in the street, but we don’t listen to and respond to these sounds. Listening requires indications of interest with “key comments” to encourage the person to share more. While hearing is inactive and only requires your ears, listening is active and requires your ears, your mind and your mouth.

Use these 3 “key comments” to become a powerful active listener:

1) Reflect emotions: Your friend says, “I am so mad at Julie. She never follows through on her word!” Instead of saying nothing, you should respond with a non-judgmental comment like “I can understand how that would make you mad.” The result: Your key comment lets your friend know that you are listening and you understand how she feels. In turn, she calms down and feels comfortable confiding in you, her friend.

2) Summarize: Your spouse tells you about the many things he or she did that day at the office or at home. Instead of remaining silent, you should summarize what he/she said. For example, “You sure did a lot today. From meeting with our son’s teacher, to giving that presentation at work, it’s amazing how much you accomplish.” The result: Your spouse knows that you are listening to him/her and he/she is important to you.

3) Ask Open-ended Questions: Anytime you are in conversation with your spouse, child, friend or colleague, ask open-ended questions to motivate the person to open up and talk. Open-ended questions are: what? why? and how? For instance, you might say, “When you say [topic], what do you mean? The result: Open-ended questions show that you are interested and want to learn more.

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.”
-Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
(US Screenwriter)…

Dating Deal Breakers & Makers: 5 Do’s and Don’ts

Dating Deal Breakers & Makers: 5 Do’s and Don’ts – Have you ever been on a date with someone and mistakenly thought you both had a great time?  You were expecting a second date… but it didn’t happen.  You wondered “What did I do wrong?”  You wanted to ask this person what happened, but then you thought better of it.  Well, now I’ll give you the straight-talk answers you’re looking for… 

 1.         Don’t Turn Your Date Into a Therapy Session

Leave your skeletons in the closet and your ex’s in the past.  Even if you think you’re being open and honest, don’t talk about your dysfunctional family, your trust issues, your bad break-up or anything you’d tell a therapist, until you’ve been on at least 3 dates.

In the beginning, do talk about your hobbies and interests.

 2.      Don’t Display Verbal Diarrhea.

It takes two to tango.  Don’t be a “I” person who starts every sentence with “I” – I went here, I went there, I went up, I went down, I went in, I went out…

Forget the monologue and do have a dialogue.  Ask your date questions and listen to the answers.

 3.      Don’t be a Techno-Pest.

Leave the technology in your pocket.  Using your phone or texting during a date sends the instant message to the person sitting beside you – “You are not my priority.  I don’t care about you.”  

Do be respectful and put your phone on silent before the date.

4.         Don’t be a Whiner.

We all have problems, we don’t need anymore.  Don’t complain about your boss from hell, your horrible neighbor, your teeth pain or how hard it is to make ends meet.  

Do talk positively about the things that make you happy.

 5.         Don’t Forget the Little Things.

Don’t be late.
Don’t be early.
Do reconfirm your date in advance.
Do be polite to the waiters and busboys.
Do dress well.
Don’t forget to thank your date.
Do reinforce your date’s polite behavior by saying “Thank you for calling to confirm the date in advance” or “Thank you for asking me what type of food I’d like before you picked the restaurant.”…

Love and Like Your Spouse

Love and Like Your Spouse

Love and Like Your Spouse – “I love my husband, but I don’t like him.”

That’s a comment I often hear in my couples mediation practice. Over the years, I discovered something: Many people are nicer to acquaintances than they are to their spouses.

We are our best selves early in our relationship. We show each other empathy, respect and patience. As time passes, we expect those things from our partner, but we tend to deliver them less. Use of the words “thank you” and “please” become sparse, replaced by comments like “You have to…” and “Why didn’t you…,” which are set-up comments for a fight.

So how do we keep the liking and loving feelings alive and strong?

Consider this: Most relationship problems couples face are not

people problems, they are communication problems.

We can all expect to face obstacles and challenges in life such as a new baby, a family illness or a job loss. But the distinction between whether our relationship crumbles or survives over time depends on the words and acts we choose on a daily basis to connect or disconnect from our partner. Our words should infuse values of respect, appreciation, intimacy and cooperation, one conversation at a time. Because communication and conflict resolution skills are learned, there is opportunity for all of us to improve our marriages.

To reach couples nationwide I partnered with Family Dynamics Institute to create the educational Online Virtual Fight Less, Love More course for couples based on my bestselling book “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In.” Using the latest technology, this evidence-based course is the first of its kind to enable couples to meet in a small group with the course leader in the Online Virtual Classroom where they seehear and interact with each other. All you need is a web browser and an Internet connection, on a PC, Mac or mobile device.

While this 9 week, 1 hour per week step-by-step course gives you the tools to avoid and reduce conflict, and increase the appreciation, respect and intimacy in your relationship , here are a few tips you can use today to superglue your relationship.

5 TIPS TO LOVE AND LIKE YOUR SPOUSE

  • Maintain a Positive Daily Communication Routine

Every couple has a communication routine. What’s yours? Kind or Rude? Either way, you and your mate can easily upgrade your daily routine: 1) Say “good morning,” cheerfully, not “You have to…,” and before you go to sleep always say “good night.” 2) When you return at the end of the workday, say “hello” and give your mate a warm hug or kiss. Don’t head for the mail, your cell phone or computer. 3) Thank your mate for something big or small every day, such as emptying the garbage, putting the kids to bed or working hard to provide for your family. Lastly, 4) say “I love you because…” and fill in the blank with something thoughtful that your mate did that day such as calling/texting you to find out how your meeting or doctor’s appointment went.

  • Pay Your Mate

Give the priceless gift of words. When you’re in a loving relationship you take on the job responsibility of being your mate’s head cheerleader, and if you aren’t fulfilling that role, you’re leaving a job opening for someone else. How exactly do you cheerlead? We did a Fight Less, Love More study and found that when we asked people whether they’d prefer their mate compliment them for being good-looking or for being kind, 84% of people chose kind. Our character is a key part of what brought us together and it’s the glue that keeps us together. Today, find a positive character quality (like being generous, thoughtful, or compassionate) and voice it.

  • Have Good Fights

Happy couples do fight. Research indicates that the average couple fights twice a week. The goal is to have a good fight that reaches a solution, not a bad fight that is never-ending. How do you have a good fight? Don’t make assumptions. Instead, ask neutral questions “why do you think that?” and listen to the answers, then give your opinion. Partner up to create with a solution together . The fact is, when all parties participate in creating a resolution, they are more likely to comply.

  • Seek Instant Gratification

Yes, be rewarded today! Most couple’s counseling is a long-term process, but the simple strategies found in the Fight Less, Love More book and course give you the communication tools to immediately fix and enrich your relationship. Want to jumpstart love today? Then try one of my 30-Second Love Plays, the Eyeball to Eyeball Love Play. Gently put your hand on your mate’s shoulder, look him/her in the eye and say something like, “Honey, I really love you. I am grateful to have you in my life.”

By changing our thinking and our words today, we won’t want to change our partner tomorrow.…

5 Ways to Say “I Love You”

5 Ways to Say “I Love You”Want to be an irresistible mate this Spring?

You can make it happen!

Learn 5 new ways to say I love you in 30 seconds or less. You will grow the relationship you want, easier than you ever dreamed possible.

30-Second Love Tips

1. Use “Follow Up” Bonds
When your mate tells you about something that’s going to happen that day, whether it’s a meeting, a doctor’s appointment, or taking your son or daughter to a soccer game, always make it a top priority to ask your mate, “How did it go?” By following up you are saying, you matter to me and I love you.

2. Bestow “Focused” Talk
If you and your mate are away from each other during the day and you are busy but have access to e-mail or text messaging, take 30 seconds to send a romantic note saying, “Just thinking about you,”  “How’s your day going?” or “Looking forward to seeing you tonight.”

3. Offer “Pitch-in” Connectors
Volunteering to help your mate with tasks (like those in the kitchen or child care) even when you are busy, tired or overwhelmed yourself is another powerful way to say, “I love you.  You are special to me and I care about you.”

4. Display “Face-to-Face” Expressions
As love becomes a permanent fixture in our life, we often take it for granted. Don’t ignore your mate. Routinely say hello and goodbye to each other and engage in one sentence face-to-face expressions of love such as “I love our life together,” “You’re a great mother/father,” or “Your were so kind to do that for me.”

5. Exhibit ”Touch and Go” Contact
When you and your mate arrive home how much time passes before you touch each other or offer a quick hug or kiss? When you and your mate are together, whether you are watching TV, emptying the dishwasher or reading, take 30 seconds to reach out to each other.  This quick touch says, “I see you.  I hear you. I love you.”…

Fight Less, Love More The Course

Fight Less, Love More The Course

Course Testimonials

“The course got to the root of our problems and we didn’t need hours and months of counseling to solve them. All we needed was the Fight Less, Love More Course . 

The online virtual format  felt like all the couples and course leader were in one room together.

It was great and we didn’t have to leave our home. Taking this course was one of the best things we ever did for our marriage!” 
– John and Melissa N., Coloma, MI

” We have seen the results, now anytime we disagree on something we have a way to discuss it that brings results not frustration. A great class.”
– Meredith and Tom, KS

“This class was amazing! It gave us the chance to openly acknowledge and confront actual situations that we have with each other in a way that gives respect. We’ve been married for twenty three years but every couple, however long they’ve been married, should learn the concepts that this class offers. It would be great for engaged couples too. Thank you Family Dynamics and Laurie Puhn for such an amazing class.”
– Dawn and Steve, OK

“This class really did help us to fight less and love more. It was great to learn the different kinds of conversations and have examples of them to read and learn from. Then to try them out and see how well they worked is helping my husband and I in a number of ways. Thanks it is a great class!”
– Wendy and Mike, OH

“We think this is a perfect starter class for your marriage, we wish we had learned these conversation styles before we were married, would have stopped a lot of stupid arguments. It was an easy and actually fun course to take.”
– Marty and Lynn, TX

Course Description

Bestselling author, Harvard lawyer and couples mediator Laurie Puhn of Laurie Puhn Communications, in partnership with the non-profit Marriage Dynamics Institute, bring you powerful communication and conflict resolution tools in the Fight Less, Love More Course. Based on her book Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In, this nationwide course teaches couples the vital skills needed to grow lasting love. In each of the nine one-hour classes, you will experience the benefit of using the 5-Minute Conversations to avoid and reduce conflict, increase appreciation, intimacy and respect, give a perfect apology and create a personalized daily communication routine that will keep your marriage strong and healthy for a lifetime. Whether you are a couple who wants to enrich your marriage, or are engaged to be married, or seeking to keep love alive, this step-by-step course is perfect for you.


Class Session Topics Include:

  • Tame Rudeness & Inspire Appreciation
  • Be More Lovable & Criticize with Influence
  • Short-Circuit Arguments & How to Have a Good Fight
  • Kick Start Intimacy & Deter Cheating
  • Control Overreactions & Negotiate for Love
  • Reject Stubbornness & Disarm the Know-it-All
  • Keep It Confidential & Awaken Your Silent Mate
  • Orchestrate the Perfect Apology & Be Optimistic

How the Course Works:

Guided Resources: Fight Less, Love More Leader book, Student Workbooks and DVD. Utilizing these resources with a facilitator, which can be YOU learning the material for the first time, couples examine communication problems and hidden patterns of interaction while learning new concepts about relationships and specific conflict resolution and verbal skills to enhance love, respect, appreciation, compassion and intimacy.

Guided Activities: Each week, couples complete a series of assignments that reinforce the lesson learned the week before and introduce new concepts for the week ahead. In class, couples practice using the new verbal skills in 5-minute conversations and receive positive feedback from peers.

Guided Questions: Weekly, the group meets to discuss and apply the skills taught in that week’s lesson. Throughout the course, the group helps reinforce new verbal skills and support the growth of all the couples.

Guided Group Interaction: Through interacting with other couples who are learning and challenging themselves too, a unique support and accountability system occurs. The varying personalities and life experiences of the group creates stimulating discussions and an encouraging environment for change. By the end of the course, you and your spouse have come together to create a new, more fulfilling way of living, loving and understanding each other. You now have the skills to fight less and love more every day.…

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